I take a shower every morning. Night doesn't work at all - my hair is all greasy and I'd spend the whole day smelling like "night sweat." Each day starts clean.
Find undies in drawer and grab relatively-clean tee from closet door handle. Proceed to bathroom and close door. If we're in the middle of winter darkness, I'll turn on the shower light. If there's enough ambient light at that time of day, I'll do without the light.
Open shower door, nudge nozzle aim toward wall, turn to HOTTEST, step back out for warm-up period. Turn ventilation on to 60-minute setting.
Remove clothing: pull nightshirt inside-out and hang on peg. Pull off sweats and hang on same peg, carefully keeping space between stinky night clothes and cleanish re-wearable clothes. Socks and undergarments are then removed, I crack open the door, I toss the items in the laundry basket outside, and re-close the door.
Pee in toilet. If I don't do this, I will have the unignorable urge to pee once I climb into the shower. Peeing is a must, even if I don't think I need to go. Flush and wash. (Not sure why I wash, given that I'm about to immerse in a full-body cleanse, but it seems a good habit not to break.)
Pull floor towel from either the side of the towel rack (if husband showered last) or from front bar (if I showered last) and place on floor in front of shower door.
Adjust water from HOTTEST to GOOD-N-HOT and re-aim nozzle back to center. Step into shower and close shower door. With back to nozzle wall, let water soak my hair until I am completely warm.
At this point, if I find I have been scatter-brained lately, I begin to count sets of ten. I estimate each task should take no more than 10 counts, and thusly counting can keep me on-track and away from day-dreaming time away in the shower.
10 counts to shampoo. (No enlightment here - I apply some citrus-smelling stuff and scrub.)
Turn to face nozzle wall and 10 counts to let hot water melt the adhesive on my Breathe-Right nosestrip. Used strip gets placed in Dixie cup next to shower toiletries.
10 counts to apply face wash to face, make sure to massage into my nose creases. If I squirted out too much, I'll apply the extra to my neck.
Turn back around and cut length of dental floss. Wrap around fingers and count off the spaces between my teeth (more than 10). Used floss gets placed in Dixie cup trash.
Adjust nozzle to JET setting.
10 counts to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. I typically move my head in a zig-zag pattern to get a full forehead-to-nape rinse.
Soak washcloth under nozzle for 10 counts. Wring and scrub facial wash off face. Rinse washcloth, wring again, and replace on hook.
Warm plasticy used-to-be-a-spa-pom-pom under spray. Wad and dip in soap dish residue and measure 10 counts to scrub under arms. Allow for any other cleansing at this time.
If I recently had my legs waxed, I will allow 10 counts per leg to scrub the lower leg skin, as to discourage ingrown hairs. I'm not certain this actually provides any protection, but it's a satisfying scritch nonetheless.
Twist nozzle back to shower mode and rinse fully before turning handle to OFF position. Brush water off easily-accessible large swaths of body. Open door and step out onto floor towel.
Reach over toilet area divider and pull bath towel from towel bar. Dry self, starting with face. It helps to make "mrfff mrfff" sounds while drying this part. Continue to dry, top to bottom, and end by twisting towel into turban atop head.
Apply fancy hand cream to face, being careful to cover area under eyebrows, but not so far as the eyelids (I risk sweating the lotion oils into my eyes otherwise). Apply deodorant. Apply different hand cream to biceps, as they always seem to be dry.
Assess chin for tweezing. If hairs found, curse that I didn't do this before I applied the somewhat slippery cream on my face.
Remove towel, fold lengthwise and snake it over the towel bar to dry. Same with floor towel.
Don undies and brush hair with green plastic Goody brush with protected bristle ends.
Don cleanish pants from bathroom hook. Don tee I brought in with me. I'll wear this for the next 1/2 hour 'til I've stopped sweating from the hot shower, at which point I'll put on my "real" shirt for the day.
Exit bathroom, squeaky clean.
Find undies in drawer and grab relatively-clean tee from closet door handle. Proceed to bathroom and close door. If we're in the middle of winter darkness, I'll turn on the shower light. If there's enough ambient light at that time of day, I'll do without the light.
Open shower door, nudge nozzle aim toward wall, turn to HOTTEST, step back out for warm-up period. Turn ventilation on to 60-minute setting.
Remove clothing: pull nightshirt inside-out and hang on peg. Pull off sweats and hang on same peg, carefully keeping space between stinky night clothes and cleanish re-wearable clothes. Socks and undergarments are then removed, I crack open the door, I toss the items in the laundry basket outside, and re-close the door.
Pee in toilet. If I don't do this, I will have the unignorable urge to pee once I climb into the shower. Peeing is a must, even if I don't think I need to go. Flush and wash. (Not sure why I wash, given that I'm about to immerse in a full-body cleanse, but it seems a good habit not to break.)
Pull floor towel from either the side of the towel rack (if husband showered last) or from front bar (if I showered last) and place on floor in front of shower door.
Adjust water from HOTTEST to GOOD-N-HOT and re-aim nozzle back to center. Step into shower and close shower door. With back to nozzle wall, let water soak my hair until I am completely warm.
At this point, if I find I have been scatter-brained lately, I begin to count sets of ten. I estimate each task should take no more than 10 counts, and thusly counting can keep me on-track and away from day-dreaming time away in the shower.
10 counts to shampoo. (No enlightment here - I apply some citrus-smelling stuff and scrub.)
Turn to face nozzle wall and 10 counts to let hot water melt the adhesive on my Breathe-Right nosestrip. Used strip gets placed in Dixie cup next to shower toiletries.
10 counts to apply face wash to face, make sure to massage into my nose creases. If I squirted out too much, I'll apply the extra to my neck.
Turn back around and cut length of dental floss. Wrap around fingers and count off the spaces between my teeth (more than 10). Used floss gets placed in Dixie cup trash.
Adjust nozzle to JET setting.
10 counts to rinse the shampoo out of my hair. I typically move my head in a zig-zag pattern to get a full forehead-to-nape rinse.
Soak washcloth under nozzle for 10 counts. Wring and scrub facial wash off face. Rinse washcloth, wring again, and replace on hook.
Warm plasticy used-to-be-a-spa-pom-pom under spray. Wad and dip in soap dish residue and measure 10 counts to scrub under arms. Allow for any other cleansing at this time.
If I recently had my legs waxed, I will allow 10 counts per leg to scrub the lower leg skin, as to discourage ingrown hairs. I'm not certain this actually provides any protection, but it's a satisfying scritch nonetheless.
Twist nozzle back to shower mode and rinse fully before turning handle to OFF position. Brush water off easily-accessible large swaths of body. Open door and step out onto floor towel.
Reach over toilet area divider and pull bath towel from towel bar. Dry self, starting with face. It helps to make "mrfff mrfff" sounds while drying this part. Continue to dry, top to bottom, and end by twisting towel into turban atop head.
Apply fancy hand cream to face, being careful to cover area under eyebrows, but not so far as the eyelids (I risk sweating the lotion oils into my eyes otherwise). Apply deodorant. Apply different hand cream to biceps, as they always seem to be dry.
Assess chin for tweezing. If hairs found, curse that I didn't do this before I applied the somewhat slippery cream on my face.
Remove towel, fold lengthwise and snake it over the towel bar to dry. Same with floor towel.
Don undies and brush hair with green plastic Goody brush with protected bristle ends.
Don cleanish pants from bathroom hook. Don tee I brought in with me. I'll wear this for the next 1/2 hour 'til I've stopped sweating from the hot shower, at which point I'll put on my "real" shirt for the day.
Exit bathroom, squeaky clean.
